


Love Always

by Atsurekino_Kurome



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adultery, Controling James, F/M, Ginny Bashing, Hermione Bashing, In the future and the past, James Potter went crazy before his death, James is a Possessive Bastard, James is a bully, Lily Bashing, Lily is a cheating sket, M/M, Multi, Parent/Child Incest, Peter gets what's coming to him, Possible Threesomes - M/F/M, Practice of the Old Ways (referenced), Ron Being a Jerk, Ron has no tact, Slight James Potter bashing, Snivellus Snape bashing, So I guess you could call it pseudo-incest, Time Travel, Underage Sex, Unhealthy Relationships, Use of Latin phrases, Weasley Bashing, Well meaning Dumbledore, but not really, very tiny, you gotta squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-11 08:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3320975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atsurekino_Kurome/pseuds/Atsurekino_Kurome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the summer before her sixth year, Cordelia Potter, reeling from the deaths of Sirius and Remus, gets a shocking letter. With her life turned upside down, and James Potter brought forward in time, she must not only deal with her new revelation, but also James' possessiveness that is isolating her from everyone else, and the fact that his charming smile makes her stomach flutter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Corde

**Author's Note:**

> I know what you're thinking! How could you?! How could you go into the deep darkness that is parent/child incest?! If you would be so kind as to read the first chapter you will be pleasantly surprised. I hope... If you still dislike the idea then please click the back button. I do not mind if you don't read this story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _No matter what you will always be **MY** Corde. And Snivellus Snape and Lily Evans can go to hell._   
>  _Love Always,_   
>    
>  _James_

Cordelia Jasmine Potter stared at the letters in horror. No. NO! This had to be some sort of sick joke! One last horrible, twisted joke from her dad before he died. There was no way that any of the contents of this letter could be true! She was the daughter of James and Lily Potter! People were always telling her that she looked like her dad, but had her mum’s eyes! She had her dad’s hair! And his bad eyesight! There was no bloody fucking way that Severus Snape was really her father! NO! She _refused_ to believe it! She looked at the letters one last time, hoping that she missed the line that told her he was just joking.

_My dear sweet Corde,_

_I write this letter with a heavy heart. I’m watching you sleep and your mum is out of the house. I have no clue where she is – no scratch that I know_ **exactly** _where she is. She’s with_ **him** _again. If you’re reading this that means that several things have more than likely happened… either I’m dead… or Lily has left me to be with_ **him** _. I’m sure you that you are wondering what I’m talking about. No… I_ **know** _you understand what I’m talking about. You’re a smart girl Corde. Before I go any further Corde, I want you to know one thing… I will_ **always** _love you Corde. You will always be_ **MY **_Corde. No matter what anyone tells you, you will always be_ **MY **_Bambi._

 _Now… the hard part is here. I’ve sat here for four hours trying to figure out how to put what I needed to say in to words. It’s taken me days to even decide that I wanted to tell you. I’ll be honest with you Corde, if I live through this war, and Lily does stay with me… you will never find out what this letter says. I’m a selfish man Corde. I can be cruel and jealous. I don’t normally share things that are so unequivocally_ **MINE**. _And you, Corde, have become my one ray of sunshine in this horrible hell that the war has created. The day you were born, I had never been more proud. Nor have I ever felt so ashamed of myself. What did I do to deserve a treasure like you? I was a rotten prat growing up. I was a bully. I tormented those I didn’t like. And here you are…this perfect_ **gift** _from above._

_But that’s not where I need to start… shortly before you were born… I vanished for a short period of time. No one knows where I went… I refused to tell them. I am going to try my damndest to change what I saw Corde. When I vanished, I ended up in the future. I met you. I comforted you as you mourned Sirius and Remus*. We even commiserated in our grief when you showed me this letter. In the time that I spent there (the last few weeks before your sixth year) you and I got along **perfectly**. You didn’t show me this letter until much later. You told me that you wanted me to get the chance to see what our life could have been like. You wanted to get the chance to spend time with the man that you had at one point called dad. When it was time for me to go home…I froze. I didn’t want to leave you. Not after everything that I had been told about your life… after everything that I saw of my future… I didn’t want to leave you to your world. But against my better judgment I left you. I almost snatched you through that portal with me. But to my everlasting shame… I didn’t. I did what everyone else in your life did. I abandoned you. We had just been discussing you going through with me… and I just… left you…_

_I arrived back in my time a few short weeks before Lily found out she was having a girl. I begged her to let me name you Cordelia. She hated the name. I could see it on her face… and maybe it was my fault… I hadn’t stopped talking about you since I had arrived back. How could I? The girl- no, young woman that you had become was amazing. Selfless and noble despite everything you have been through. Despite what I saw and found out, I allowed myself to doubt that you weren’t mine Corde. After all… my mum had black hair. You could have easily inherited it from her. And your pale skin too. But that all came crashing down not even two weeks ago._

_Imagine my surprise (though I truly shouldn't have been surprised)… my_ **anger** _… when I found out that my_ **wife** _\- the mother of_ **my** _child, was really sneaking out of our house to see someone. I wasn’t angry at first. I was worried and upset that she felt the need to sneak around. But then I found out who she was sneaking out to see. I know that you know of the hatred that Snivellus and I have for each other. You’ve experienced his hatred for yourself. I can’t even truly say why I hate him. But I do. When I saw her with him I gave a bit of a pause. Yes, I hated the man… but they had been friends at one point. And I didn’t want to believe what I remembered from the future. So I reluctantly understood why she might sneak around to see him. I was never very kind to him. Hell Corde… I tormented him. But the bastard gave as good as he got, she just refused to see it. Even after he called her a mudblood she refused to see it. Just when I was about to turn around and let them have their time together, it happened. They kissed. I watched them stumble into his house. I stood there for an hour... heartbroken. I didn’t know what to do._

 _In my anger I apparated back home and went through her things like the letter_ **I** _read said I did. I found them._ **Letters** _._ **Years** _and_ **years** _of_ **letters** _between them. Letters from after they had fought; even from after we had started dating! It wasn’t until shortly before we got married that the tone of the letters changed. She had started her affair the night before we got married! So with growing dread I decided that I would do an inheritance test on you. I knew what the results would be… but I had to see it for myself. Everything that I had found out in the future was true. You_ **weren’t** **MY** _daughter. You_ **weren’t** **MY** _child._ **MY** _Corde._

 _My head spun with angry thoughts. I could divorce her. Drag both their names through the mud._ **How dare she do this to ~~me~~ ~~us~~ YOU?! ** _But… I couldn’t divorce her… not because I loved her. I haven’t loved her since before I came back. I could live without her. It’s_ **YOU  ** _that_ _I wouldn't be able to live without Corde. If I left her… if I claimed that she cheated on me… there would be demands for an inheritance test. I would have no rights to you. I couldn’t have that Corde. I would never get to see you again. So I’ve decided that once I’m done with this letter, I will take it to the goblins and instruct them to give it to you when you turn seventeen… only if I die or if Lily leaves me. If none of that happens I will have them destroy it. You might be his child by blood… but you have_ ** MY ** _last name._

 _No matter what you will always be_ ** MY ** _Corde. And Snivellus Snape and Lily Evans can go to hell._

_Love Always,_

_James_

_P.S. I arrive shortly after you receive this letter. I am trying to change what happened Corde. I remember the letter you showed me very clearly. This small warning was not in it, so things will already be different. When times comes for me to leave, Dumbledore in an attempt to keep us apart will cast a high powered imperio on me to make me leave you. **Please** Corde! _ **Please** **stay near to me when the time comes** **!**

The next letter… the next letter confused her. It was almost the same thing… but from a different James Potter. No it was the same James Potter… but he had been obliviated and had no memory of writing the first letter. He had to go through finding out that his wife was cheating on him, and that his daughter wasn’t really his all over again. The thought made her heart twist in pain. What made it worse was that the Headmaster had been the one to obliviate him! Which meant the old bastard knew! He knew that Sna- _Snivellus_ was her real father! Poor James had false memories of his return back to the past! The poor man was so tormented by something he couldn’t understand…

_My dear sweet Corde,_

_I write this letter with a heavy heart. I’m watching you sleep and your mum is out of the house. I have no clue where she is – no scratch that I know_ **exactly** _where she is. She’s with_ **him** _again. If you’re reading this that means that several things have more than likely happened… either I’m dead… or Lily has left me to be with_ **him** _. I’m sure you that you are wondering what I’m talking about. No… I know you understand what I’m talking about. No doubt you’re a smart girl Corde. Before I go any further Corde, I want you to know one thing… I will_ **always** _love you Corde. You will always be_ **MY **_Corde. No matter what anyone tells you, you will always be_ **MY **_Bambi._

 _Now… the hard part is here. I’ve sat here for four hours trying to figure out how to put what I needed to say in to words. It’s taken me days to even decide that I wanted to tell you. I’ll be honest with you Corde, if I live through this war, and Lily does stay with me… you will never find out what this letter says. I’m a selfish man Corde. I can be cruel and jealous. I don’t normally share things that are so unequivocally_ ** MINE ** _.  And you, Corde, have become my one ray of sunshine in this horrible hell that the war has created. The day you were born, I had never been more proud. Nor have I ever felt so ashamed of myself. What did I do to deserve a treasure like you? I was a rotten prat growing up. I was a bully. I tormented those I didn’t like. And here you are…this perfect_ **gift** _from above._

 _But that’s not where I need to start… shortly before you were born… I apparently vanished for a short period of time. No one knows where I went… Dumbledore obliviated me as soon as he could apparently. I have no idea why. Nor do the others. I’ve gone about my life for the past half a year with this…_ **hole** _for the lack of a better word in me, in my heart. I feel such regret for something I can’t even remember. And it always hurts the most when I see you. Do not get me wrong my sweet Corde… I do not regret you. I could_ **never** _regret **YOU**._

 _I arrived back just in time to find out that Lily was having a girl. They joy I felt at that was a strange thing Corde. I had always wanted a son… but when she told me that we were having a daughter my joy as boundless. I begged her to let me name you Cordelia. She hated when I called you Corde. I could see it on her face… I have no idea why… but you are_ **MY ** _sweet, sweet Corde. I don’t care what that shrew of a woman thinks of me anymore. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m calling your mum a shrew…_

 _Imagine my surprise… my_ **anger** _… when I found out that my_ **wife** _\- the mother of_ **MY** _child, was sneaking out of our house to see someone. I wasn’t angry at first. I was worried and upset that she felt the need to sneak around. But then I found out who she was sneaking out to see. I have no doubt that either Sirius or Remus have told_ _you of the hatred that Snivellus and I had for each other. I can’t even truly say why I hate him. But I do. When I saw her with him I gave a bit of a pause. Yes, I hated the man… but they had been friends at one point. So I reluctantly understood why she might sneak around to see him. I was never very kind to him. Hell Corde… I tormented him. But the bastard gave as good as he got, she just refused to see it. Even after he called her a mudblood she refused to see it. Just when I was about to turn around and let them have their time together it happened. They kissed. I watched them stumble into his house. I stood there for an hour... heartbroken. I didn’t know what to do._

 _In my anger I apparated back home and went through her things. I found them._ **Letters** _._ **Years** _and_ **years** _of_ **letters** _between them. Even after they had fought... After we had started dating! It wasn’t until shortly before we got married that the tone of the letters changed. She had started her affair_ **the night before we got married** **!** _So with growing dread I decided that I would do an inheritance test on you. My world came crashing down around me that day. You_ **weren’t** _my daughter. You_ **weren’t** **MY** _child._ **MY** _Corde._

 _My head spun with angry thoughts. I could divorce her. Drag both their names through the mud. **How dare she do this to ~~me~~ ~~us~~ YOU?! ** But… I couldn’t divorce her… not because I loved her. I could live without her. It’s _ **YOU  ** _that_ _I wouldn’t be able to live without Corde. If I left her… if I claimed that she cheated on me… there would be demands for an inheritance test. I would have no rights to you. I couldn’t have that Corde. I would never get to see you again. I thought of doing a blood adoption… but something stopped me, it was the same thing that told me that I shouldn't be surprised that she had cheated on me and that you weren't mine. So I’ve decided that once I’m done with this letter, I will take it to the goblins and instruct them to give it to you when you turn seventeen… only if I die or if Lily leaves me. If none of that happens I will have them destroy it. You might be his child by blood… but you have my last name._

 _No matter what you will always be_ **MY** _Corde. And Snivellus Snape and Lily Evans can go to hell._

_Love Always,_

_James_

There were other paragraphs… added sometime after he had first written the letter, and on multiple occasions. There were smears of ink all over the bottom of the page. His hand writing wasn’t as smooth either. The words in the last paragraph were of a tormented man that couldn’t quite understand why he was feeling the things he was feeling.

**_9/5/1981_ **

_I have no clue why this is happening to me Corde. Or why I feel these things. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. It’s been over a year since I first wrote this letter… we have just recently gone into hiding because of a prophecy that states you will be the one to destroy Voldemort. Sirius as supposed to be our Secret Keeper, but he suggested Peter to fool everyone. Something in me wanted to scream. I haven’t trusted Peter in so long. I have no idea why either. The other man has done nothing to deserve my distrust. I know the others have noticed… I think that is why Sirius truly suggested it. He wanted to show me that I could trust Peter. But I don’t! And I can’t stand it when someone hands you to him to hold._ **I DON’T like him touching you Corde. ** _And you don’t like it either. You cry and scream every time he simply_ ** looks  ** _at you. Sirius accuses Remus of acting strange… ~~but he needs to look at Peter!~~ Peter is the one who is acting strange! He’s the one who is skiving off when we all get together! He makes excuses about places that he needs to be, or people that he needs to see. Peter doesn’t have any other friends! He was always too busy riding our coat tails in school to make any other friends. _

**_9/30/1981_ **

_I’m not allowed to leave the house anymore Corde. I’ve had to quit my job as an Auror. It was a job I took up so I could make the world a better and safer place for you Corde. I become an Auror for the same reasons I joined that damned Order of the Phoenix. For_ ** YOU ** _Corde. I never would have done that had you not been here Corde. I’m no coward… but I’m not one to put my life on the line for someone I don’t know or care about._

**_10/10/1981_ **

_It’s getting worse. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t let any of them hold you. Not even Sirius. Lily and I no longer share a bed. We haven’t since we went under this damn Fidelus Charm. I can’t stand to touch her. And I won’t let her touch you. Remus no longer comes over and Sirius is always prodding me with the thought that it could be him that is the traitor in the Order. Peter comes over sometimes. But he doesn’t say much. He just stands there with a smug look on his face. No one else sees it but me. They are too busy plotting with him. They think that I don’t hear them Corde… but I do. Peter was the one to bring it up. He said he was_ ** worried ** _about me. He started talking about how I was becoming too possessive when it comes to you… I’m too obsessed with you. And that shrew tossed in that I didn’t touch her anymore. It took them a while to convince Sirius… but now they all watch me when I’m with you. I’m not allowed to be alone with you anymore._

**_10/15/1981_ **

_I found out something interesting today Corde. They think that the obliviation messed with my mind. Apparently when I returned from wherever I vanished to, I used to speak nonstop about a Cordelia… or Corde as I called her. I was apparently obsessed with her… and I have apparently moved that obsession to you. I’m not obsessed! I’m possessive because you are_ **MY daughter.  MY Corde. ** _It doesn’t matter what any of them say… But at least I know why Lily didn’t want to name you Cordelia, and why she hates it when I call you Corde._

**_10/20/1981_ **

_I’ve been searching through my family grimore trying to find something that could protect you in the off chance that Peter betrays us… which he will. I know it. I just have this gut feeling that he will. I found something. It’s a blood ritual that calls for a sacrifice. A life for a life. Only problem is… I can’t do it… I’ll have to convince Lily… shouldn’t be too hard… maybe I could even manipulate her into thinking that it was her idea._

**_10/29/1981_ **

_Lily didn’t go for the idea of the ritual. She refused saying that it was a dark ritual since it involved blood and sacrifice. Oh Merlin what am I going to do Corde? When she said no I lost it. I waited until she had turned her back and I stunned her Corde. I stunned her and I took her blood and preformed the ritual myself. She woke up during the ritual and I have never heard such words coming from her mouth. She accused me of going dark and said she would tell Dumbledore what I had done. I panicked Corde. If she told Dumbledore they would take you away from me!_

_I obliviated her Corde... She still hasn’t woken up! It’s been four hours! Sirius and Peter are supposed to come by in the next few days! What am I going to do!?_

_Oh Merlin Corde… what is wrong with me? Maybe the obliviation did mess with me…_

The writing stopped after that. That was two nights before Halloween. She shook her head to try and clear the mess that these letters caused. She was angry… hurt… upset… and none of it was because she had been lied to. No she was used to disappointment in life. It was because her fath- no James, because he wasn’t really her father… it was because he had been hurt and lied to. True nothing that she had been told was true. Her mother was a lying, cheating slag. She was nothing but a sket*! And James hadn’t really distrusted Remus it was Peter that he had not trusted! He might have been obliviated, but what he had learned in the future had stuck with him. She wondered why no one had ever told her about him losing his mind in the last year of his life, but then remembered that none of them had ever told her that he had been a bully either. So it made sense. Lily’s life had saved hers… but she had been the sacrifice in a “dark” ritual… while she had willingly given her life, she hadn’t done the actual ritual willingly.

“Feck…” Everything just went arse up. This is just what she needed… she was still reeling from the Ministry last month… Sirius and Remus… Merlin and Morgana how could she have been so _stupid_?! Not only did she have to tell her da- _James_ that she wasn’t his daughter, she had lead his best mates to their deaths…

 She was slowly cleaning up all of her things when the next owl showed up.

_Cordelia,_

_An Order member will be coming to retrieve you within the next several hours._

_Dumbledore_

There was once a time where his letters were longer. They didn’t say anything of value really because the old man kept all the valuable things to himself. And there had once been a time where it had annoyed the hell out of her. She was the one fighting for her life here. She had a right to know. But after fifth year… she found that she could care less. The old man could do what he wanted. She had nothing left, but her life… and even that really wasn't her own. Sighing she got settled in for the wait.

She was going to meet James Potter!

* * *

 

Despite the fact that it had been proven that Sirius _had_ left Grimmauld Place to her, they were still using The Burrow as headquarters. Her things had been taken up stairs by Fred… or was it George? Nope, that was Fred. What were they even doing here? She thought that they lived in the flat above their shop. Not that it mattered. No what mattered was the young man standing in the middle of the living room. Hair that looked as if it had been purposefully styled to look as if he had just gotten out of bed, when it hadn’t… mischievous hazel eyes glanced from person to person, no doubt _dying_ to comment on how _old_ everyone looked.  “AH! Cordelia my dear girl! There you are!” She cursed Dumbledore with everything she had because now _everyone_ knew that she was here. She had lost her chance to watch her fath- James Potter without him knowing. In fact she had been _caught_ staring at him. He smirked and gave her a once over. Oh. Gods. Was he…

He smoothly stepped up and kissed her hand. “Hi my name is James… I’ve had a really bad day but it always makes me feel better when I see a pretty girl smile. Would smile for me and make my day?”

“W-what?” In all honesty she would have laughed had it not horrified her that the man that she had thought was her father for years was hitting on her.

“I didn’t believe in heaven, until I saw you… and it must be missing angel.”

Cordelia stared at him in mild horror, her face heating up. He just… he just hit on her! “Mr. Potter!”

“What a guy can’t pay a compliment to a pretty girl anymore?”

“Not when it’s your _daughter_! And please remember that you are _married_.”

Everyone who hadn’t stopped what they were doing stopped then to see a look of utter horror pass over James Potter’s face. “W-what?”

“She is your daughter.”

He turned to look at her “R-really?”

“Yeah…” eventually he would find out that she wasn’t but not yet…

“Oh...shite… I am _so_ sorry!”

“S’alright…” It wasn’t really… but it seemed to make him feel better. And right now she was all for making him smile as much as she could before she broke the news to him.

“So we’re agreed… never speak of this again?”

“Yep.”

“Yes well…” Mrs. Weasley eyed him in a similar way to how she eyed Sirius. Which frankly pissed Cordelia off more than when the woman treated Sirius as if he were a leper. She had enough of Mrs. Weasley patronizing Sirius. She had never gotten the chance to stand up for him, and she regretted it. “When the meeting is over dinner will be ready. Look at you, don’t those muggles feed you?” _Nope._ Did she honestly have to ask the same question every time? NO they DON’T feed her. James seemed to sense her annoyance at the question…or he realized that the true answer to the question, because his eyes narrowed.“Why don’t you children go up stairs? The Order meeting is about to start.” Like normal (and with a few complaints) they all started their way towards one of the rooms. Ginny had already made it up the stairs, while she Hermione and Ron had only just made it when they heard “What do you mean I have to go up stairs too?! I’m part of the Order! I am not a child, don’t treat me like one!” They were about to sneak closer when an outraged James came out of the room followed by just as equally outraged Molly Weasley. “This is BULLSHITE! I’m an adult and an Order member you can’t bar me from being in that room!”

“There is no reason for you to be in here!” Mrs. Weasley sniffed. “You have no place in here anymore!” With that she slammed the door shut I his face.

“BULLSHITE! This is bullshite! I’m an Order member!” Cordelia bit her lip. She hated being left out of the meetings… but she couldn’t imagine actually being a member and being told that she couldn't participate. “Condescending, self-righteous bit-” Okay this was where she needed to step in.

“Ummm… excuse me?” He must have thought they were already upstairs because he tensed. “It’s no use… they won’t open the door until the meeting is over…”

“OI! That’s my mum you’re insulting!”

“Yeah? Well your mum always had delusions of grandure! Looks like she hasn’t changed one bit since I last saw her! Never did understand how Fabian and Gideon were related to her. And look where those delusions got her!” He sneered as he waved his hand around, motioning to the house. His amiable smile had vanished and it was easy for Cordelia to see that bully that he had been.

“Ummm why don’t we just…” She glanced at Hermione who looked absolutely scandalized at the words that had come out of his mouth. Honestly… Hermione had been the one that she had talked to when she had been unsure of what to do with the information about him being a bully.

“Take that back!” Ron snarled.

“Make me.” James smirked as Ron got ready to tackle him.

“Hey we really should…”

“I will you piece of-” Cordelia had finally had enough. Everything that had happened in the past few hours had been building up and finally caught up with her. And neither of them were listening to her!

“SHUT UP! Both of you _SHUT UP_! You!” She glared at Ron. “He insulted your mum! It’s no different than Malfoy doing it! It happens! GET OVER IT! _AND YOU_! GET OVER _YOURSELF_! We’re left out of every single meeting they have and _I’m_ the one that Voldemort wants to _kill_!”  She was breathing heavily by the end of her rant and they were all staring at her.

“Cordelia there was no reason for you to start shou-” Hermione was interrupted by James laughing.

“Bit of a spit fire aren’t ya?” He tossed his arm over her shoulder. “Was wondering if you were actually that quite.” He snickered as she blushed and looked down. “Wait… did you say that Voldemort is trying to kill you? Why would he want to kill you?”

“She’s the girl-who-lived!”

“Ronald! Don’t tell him anything! It could compromise everything!”

“What? The Headmaster already said that this happened before! Him coming here is a part of history!” Cordelia ignored the fact that they seemed to know what was going on in order to focus on keeping herself from blushing. She still hadn’t quite recovered from him hitting on her. And he seemed to find some type of humor out of it.

They continued up the stairs with Ron and Hermione still arguing and James seemingly forgetting that he had just hit on her. She knew that he was already married to Lily… one the letter had said so, two she had caught sight of his wedding band, and three Professor McGonagall had to remind him apparently. She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about the ease he did it with. She shook off that thought though… he can hit on any girl he likes! His wife was cheating on him!

They had made it to Ron’s room where James, like most people was temporarily blinded by the brightness of said boy’s room. “I'm part of the Order! Why do I have to leave?" he pouted as he flopped down onto Ron's bed. Hermione gave him a similar look to the ones that she gave Ron when he complained about doing homework. But he wasn't fazed in the slightest. No doubt he had gotten plenty of those looks from Lily. Cordelia decided that she should step in before all hell broke loose.  
  
"Well I guess they don't want to ruin too much of the time line... I mean..." she trailed off as he looked her directly in the eyes. He smirked when she looked away and blushed. Smug bastard; he seemed to enjoy making her squirm.  
  
"Yeah I guess. Does make sense; if you can't interact with yourself when using a time turner, there is no telling what could happen just by being in the future. But technically there is no point. They said that this was supposed to happen. So there isn’t much I can change unless I want to. I mean… all I have to do is walk out of this house and into the Ministry and have a look into their files. Oh don't give me that look... er... what's your name again?"  
  
"I'm Hermione Granger." The other girl stated in the matter of fact way the she did everything, which simultaneously insulted your intelligence and showed her lack of social skills.  
  
He blinked and stared at her for a few agonizing seconds. "I imagine you have an _amazing_ social life... guys must _line up_ to date **_you_**..."  
  
Hermione gaped at James, thoroughly insulted. Secretly Cordelia agreed with him and was laughing her head off. She wasn’t going to let them know that though. And just when she looked about ready to retort Ron spoke up in the classic Ron way apparently forgetting their almost fight down stairs. "Enough about Mione's lack of a social life; everyone knows about that! Let's get to the fact that you hit on Delia! I mean I know she's famous, but she's just Delia! Not much ya know!" Cordelia felt her heart twist a bit. Sure she knew she wasn't pretty... and she didn't like Ron like that... but did he have to be mean?  
  
James hissed and jerked around to glare at Ron. "What was that?"  
  
Ron, ever oblivious to the fact that he just stepped in it, carried on. "I bet you could have any bird you want mate!" Ron never saw it coming. James had him by his shirt and against the wall before anyone could even act. Then again he was an Auror; one that could have been Head Auror in time had he not died so young.  
  
"Did you just really insult my daughter in front of me you little piece of shite?" Cordelia wasn’t sure that she was hearing right. Did he just stand up for her? Without even knowing her? Very few people had ever done that without wanting something in return.

“What? I mean seriously mate-”

“Do you have a hearing problem to go with your blindness? Insult her again and it will be the last thing you do.” With that said he let go of Ron’s shirt and eyed the room with distaste, conveniently ignoring that he had insulted Mrs. Weasley not even ten minutes ago.

“You’re such an idiot Ron.” Ginny spoke up from the door way. “Don’t pay any attention to him James; he has the tact of a gorilla.” James eyed her for a second and nodded, not even paying attention to the way she was eyeing him. Oh… oh no… was she seriously…

“That’s an insult to gorillas everywhere.” The redhead giggled and tossed her hair over her shoulder. Oh Merlin. Cordelia covered her face with her hands just as James looked at her with a raised eyebrow.  A slut that was hitting on her da-well on the man that everyone in this house thought to be her dad. She was seriously going to act like James was just another one of her playthings!

“ _Giiinnyyyy_ …” She wished someone would just shoot her now. “Go… make fun of Fleur… I’m sure you haven’t done that today…” actually she more than likely had, because she couldn’t quite get over that her elder brother was moving on with his life.

“What? Why?”

“Ginny I’m not comfortable with this…”

“Not comfortable with what?”

“Ginny go… owl _Dean_ … ya’know your _boyfriend_?” More like flavor of the week. She glared at the red head willing her to understand. No such luck as she just continued on. She even started in on how she supposedly looked like Lily. Cordelia wanted to laugh at that blatant lie.

“I’ve been told I look a lot like Lily.” She batted her eyes at James, who looked as if he was completely unaware that she was even trying to flirt with him. Both Ron and Hermione were staring slack jawed at her.

James, not even missing a beat, blinked at her and laughed. “No you don’t! You’re skin is splotchy and uneven… your eyes are too close together… your hair is too frizzy…” he continued on with listing the reasons she didn’t look anything like Lily getting more cruel as he went on. “…and at the same time it’s limp… your flat chested, almost like a twelve year old boy… too fat… you look nothing like her. Now Corde here, you don’t mind if I call you Corde do you? She looks just like her… same alabaster skin, small nose, beautiful green eyes; which are surprisingly brighter…” he trailed off while looking at her, then shook his head and continued, “ though she is smaller than Lily…more pixie like…all you have to do is give her red hair and…” Ginny’s face started to turn red as his insults kept coming. Before he could keep going she stormed out of the room. “Well that was unpleasant…” 

“Was it really necessary to say all those mean things?” Hermione’s lips thinned into a straight line.

“What? Did you not just witness what I did? She claimed she looked like my _wife_ when she didn’t… _hit on me_... all in front of my daughter, who I might add asked her to stop and reminded her that she had a boyfriend.” It was becoming more and more apparent that James, Ron and Hermione were not going to get along. Hell she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t get along with _anyone_ in this house. He could more than likely find a way to anger the twins. Oh Merlin and Morgana! That was just what they needed… a prank war.

“You hit on Cordelia.” Ron jumped in.

“I believe we said we weren’t going to discuss that again…” Cordelia groaned.  James smirked and winked at her.

“Yeah but she’s pretty. Just like her mum, actually prettier because Lily’s is a classic beauty where Corde’s is an ethereal beauty.” She didn’t know if she should smile or just melt into the cracks of the floor. _Prettier_ than Lily Potter? _Her_?

“Oi, are you saying my sister isn’t pretty?”

“Uh yeah? Sides she seems like the type of girl whose been ridden more than the Hogwarts brooms.” There was a stunned silence in the room at what he just said. Cordelia couldn’t help it; she let out a snorted laugh. “HA! Made you laugh!” He jumped up and pointed at her before doing a silly dance. He acted as if his day had been made just by making her laugh.

“Oh don’t give me that look Ron! Side he’s right… haven’t you heard half of the stories going around the school about her? Add to the fact she’s dating Dean… who is best mates with Seamus, and” Ron who had been turning red the while time stormed out of the room before she could even finish. “Seamus is a manwhore…” they could hear Ginny yelling from down the hall when Ron burst into her room.

“Really Cordelia? Of all the people out there I would think you would know not to take stock in rumors!” She sighed and shook her head. She knew for a fact that Hermione knew more than a few of those stories were true. Sure most of them might not be, but she doubted that they were all false.

“Not rumors Hermione… I’ve seen her with several different boys in the span of a week. I think one of them might have even been Zabini, might have even seen Nott. And yes I do know that half the stories that spew from Seamus’ mouth are just to make him look better. And don’t think I don’t know about you catching her in broom closets on patrol!”

“And I thought Sirius was bad…” James snickered. “He at least waited a few weeks between playthings.” That somehow didn’t surprise her. She had seen flashes of the playboy in her godfather’s personality in his more _lucid_ moments. While Sirius hadn’t been completely insane he wasn’t truly sane either. Twelve years in Azkaban had taken its toll on what had once been a very playful man.

“Say where is-”

“DINNER!” Hermione just frowned at them both before flouncing out of the room.

“Circe…wait what does she mean about not taking stock in rumors?” His head was cocked to the side curiously and he truly looked worried. 'If there is one thing a Potter cares most about its family Bambi.' Sirius had told her that one night when telling her stories about her parents.

"W-well..." she could feel her face heat up. Bloody hell why was she blushing so much?! "Like Ron said... I'm _famous_..." his brow furrowed at the way she spat the word. "There is a never ending stream of rumors about me..." she fidgeted under his gaze for a few seconds before moving.”We better get down there... Mrs. Weasley will come in here if we don't..."

"Merlin forbid someone isn't doing what _she_ wants." James snorted. "Alright then lead on Corde!"

* * *

 

James stared across the table at the girl who was supposedly his daughter. He hit on his daughter. Then he turned around and told her she was prettier than her mum… well she was… but that was beside the point! What a way to make an arse out of himself. She was so cute he just couldn't help it. He had never seen eyes so green. Not even Lily had eyes that green. The way that her black hair framed her face... he hadn't been lying... he thought an angel had walked into the room when he had seen her. Like he said… she was an ethereal beauty. And she just kept blushing. It was cute.  
  
_‘ACK! Get a hold of yourself mate! She's your daughter!’  
_  
_‘And damn did I do good?!’_ She was so petit, and had a delicate facial structure. Dark lashes framed killing curse green eyes with high cheek bones that had a natural blush to offset her alabaster skin. Her rosy lips were full and pouty, and he just wanted to nib… ACK! No! Bad Prongs! You’re married! Married to a woman who gets pregnant with the girl you are having these not so decent thoughts about! Ah there’s that blush again…

He grinned roguishly at her, working the magic that most women seemed to fall for. Lily had been the only one to not fall for it right away. Her blush darkened and she looked down messing with the food on her plate. She was so shy. Where had that shyness come from? Certainly not he or Lily. He would have to cure her of that shyness before he returned home. Suddenly he found himself thrust into a very familiar situation when the red headed idiot that she called a friend claimed her attention. Why was it that the women in his life always had friends that didn’t deserve their attention? Well no matter… he had managed to run Snivellus off. It shouldn’t take too long to get rid of this one. He seemed to have slight inferiority issues. Just like that frizzy headed girl down the table. They wouldn’t be too hard to exploit. He would just have to wait until the right time.

He glanced at each of the tables other inhabitants. Most of them were Weasleys. Damn, _seven children_? Of all the families to have s _even children_ it had to be the one that couldn’t afford it. Most couples could barely have _one child_. His mum had gotten lucky when she had him. Well… not lucky per say… she couldn’t have anymore after she had him. The pregnancy had done too much damage to her body. Out of his mother’s generation in the Black family only six of them had children, and none of them had more than three. He didn’t count his cousin Cedrella because she had been disowned for marrying into the very family that had been _blessed_ with these _seven_ bloody children. Out of that generation’s ten children only _three_ of them had children. Bellatrix ended up being barren because on inbreeding, Narcissa had recently had a son, Andromeda was disowned and had a daughter with a muggleborn, Regulus had been killed after getting cold feet about being a Death Eater, Sirius was gay and sleeping with a werewolf (Oh the horror! He still got a kick out of that.), and he would get a beautiful daughter. And here was this… **_disgraced_** pureblood family with **_seven_** _effing children_. He had never liked Molly Weasley nee Prewitt. She had been in her seventh year when he entered his first, and even then she had delusions of grandeur. She felt like she was entitled to it all… and here she was with _seven bloody fucking children_. She must be a total nightmare to be around now. He wouldn’t put it past her to lord it over everyone like she was the bloody Queen of England. Not that having seven children would make up for the disgrace that had befallen them. It had been three generations since the Weasley family had any money and it would take more than that for them to be able to work their way back into any sort of good social standing. If they ever could. He paused in thought if Cordelia was famous like they said she was... add to it that she was heir to an old family... could they be using her to fix their social standing? What the bloody hell was he thinking letting his daughter befriend a _Weasley_?* Just something else to ask he when he finally got the chance.

He paused as a thought came to him. If Voldemort was after his daughter… why wasn’t she someplace safe? Where were he and Lily? What was this about her living with muggles? And what about Sirius, Remus and Peter? They hadn’t told him much… that one girl… Hermione had kept interrupting them. Rule followers… they had always annoyed the hell out of him. While Remus was the voice of reason in their group, and had kept them from killing themselves on several occasions, he wasn’t a rule follower. Even Lily hadn’t always followed rules. This girl took rule following to a whole new level. And she was so snobby about it. Honestly at first sight he had no clue how Cordelia was friends with both her and Ron. But then he saw it. It was a look that he had seen on Sirius’ face… and even Remus’. Sirius had been mentally and sometimes even physically abused by his parents simply because he didn’t fit into their idea of what he should be like. He put on this façade of a loud, brash prankster when on the inside he was terrified that no one would really ever accept him. And Remus… Remus’ condition had put a dampening on what the bloke would have really been like had he not been bitten. He was scarily brilliant, with a wicked sense of humor, but he had deep seeded insecurities about people finding out he was a werewolf. Only two people had ever actually found out without being told. He had made the mistake of saving one of them… but only because he didn’t want to lose Remus or for Sirius to get into trouble. The other… well he and Sirius had obliviated her when she had threatened to tell the whole school. The girl had never been the same after that… but his obliviations had always been a bit… _dodgy_ …

What had happened to his daughter to make her like that? He wondered how much of her shyness was imposed on her by her friends… their personalities were both so big and loud that they over shadowed her. Whenever someone asked her a question they would both jump in and answer it for her. And she seemed content to let them do it. Almost as if… oh that _sneaky girl_ …

While they both were answering the question that had been asked, she had managed to sneak a roll from someone else’s plate while all the attention was on the other two. She happily munched on it, while looking around the table. He wondered if she did that with everything… they said she was famous… what had they called her? The-Girl-Who-Lived? Was it a deal that they had struck? They deflect the attention that she obviously doesn’t want, because let’s face it, just knowing her for a few hours he could tell she didn’t like that kind of attention… and she fades into the background…

How to get her alone? No one in the house was allowing him to get near her. It was almost as if they expected him to do something bad. He would try and talk to her and someone would jump in and start talking about something completely different or Molly Bloody Weasley would pull her from the room. What was so wrong with wanting to get to know her? And what if she wanted to talk to him? No, there were no what if’s… she did want to talk to him. He could see it in her eyes. So he would wait until they were no longer watching and he would get to her.

* * *

 

Cordelia sat under a tree trying to read through the newest chapter of her book. It was long and complicated… and it was times like this that she wished she wasn’t the only one of her close friends that practiced the old ways… or that she could at least ask Hermione for help. The one time she had asked was when she had found the book, both her friends had flipped. To them it was something only blood supremacists practiced. She knew that there were several others at school that kept the old ways, but it wasn’t something that they broadcasted… for one many were of the same beliefs as Ron and Hermione… and two because it really was no one else’s business. She had been introduced to it in her first year after she had joined the Quidditch team. It was basically a requirement. It was tradition Fred had said; a tradition that had been broken once both Ron and then Ginny had joined the team, because they were of the belief that only blood snobs practiced. Well she was going to bring it back this year... bugger what they thought!

 If it was a tradition… did her da- did James practice the old ways? And what about Sirius? She had never gotten the chance to ask… but really with how Sirius thought of his family she honestly wondered if it was a more recent development. After all her parents had been light aligned when they were alive… and while she wasn’t dark she wasn’t light… her experiences in life made it impossible for her to be light. She liked to think of herself as grey. With her being the captain of the team she would be the one to lead the rituals... she had seen them done each year… but it never hurt to review it. “What’s this then?”  She jumped and squeaked when the book was snatched from her hands.

“HEY! That’s mine! Give it ba-” Well this was just great! Looked like her da- _James_ was about to find out that she practiced the old ways. He was giving her a wide teasing grin as he held the book over her head. She had no doubt that same grin got many girls drooling over him. Wait... Where had that come from?!

“Here I am finally able to get you where I can talk to you and you’re reading a book about…” he paused then frowned making her heart drop into her stomach. “Huh… shouldn’t you already know this stuff?” Wait, what? “I mean I know Lily doesn’t practice the old ways, but I do. As do Remus and Sirius. What? Didn’t you know that? I don’t curb myself that much for her do I?”

“C-curb yourself?” She wasn’t sure what he was talking about. She did know that he had been a bully and a prankster.

“You really don’t know? Haven’t I taught you anything?!” Cordelia bit her lip as she contemplated what she should do. He did have a right to know what was going to happen… but how much would she change by telling him? He would actually find out when she showed him the letter, so it couldn’t hurt…

“I’m dead… aren’t I?” His question startled her. "And so is Lily... And something must have happened to Sirius, Remus and Peter because they mentioned you lived with muggles... who **_obviously_** don't take good care of you." She blanched at his words. "What? It's more than obvious! If your small size didn't give you away, then the state of your clothes would. The Potter's have money! Sure we aren't the richest family out there, but we are one of the oldest! And I set up your trust vault the day Lily told me she was pregnant." Cordelia's gut twisted at those words. "It's been almost sixteen years for you and I set it up to where 5000 galleons each year," 5000 galleons a year?! " would go into your trust vault until you were seventeen where it would go down to half that plus any money you would make from whatever job you decided on. Then add the Potter family vaults if something happened to your mum and me. Your Hogwarts tuition for all seven years has already been paid so there is no need to worry about that." He paused in his rant and actually looked at her. "And you don't know about any of this do you?"

"Only what Siri had a chance to tell me before he and Remus..." she took a deep breath and continued. “Dumbledore didn't let him tell me much... And after Azkaban... There weren't many lucid or happy moments where he saw me and not _you_."

"Azkaban?" James choked. "What was he doing in Azkaban?!"

"He was framed for the murder of thirteen people... twelve muggles and..." she couldn't even make herself say the name because it left such a bad taste in it. But more than, that she was afraid of James' reaction to what she was about to say.

"And who?" How the hell do you tell the man who was supposed to be your father that one of his best mates framed the other one for murder? How do you tell him that the same traitor had led a mass murdering psycho to your house to kill you when he was supposed to keep your location a secret? "Cordelia who was it?"

" _Pettigrew_." She spat the name like it was a curse. He was startled by how acerbic her voice was.

"But Sirius wouldn't... Why do you hate Peter?"

"I doubt you would believe me... Honestly had I not witnessed what happened at the end of third year I wouldn't believe it either..." She jumped when he plopped down beside her.

"Genus primum. Ante sociorum. Ante pecunia. Ante potentia." Sirius said that once. "A Potter always puts his or her family first. Before allies-"

"Before money. Before power." she finished quietly. She hadn't quite understood what Sirius had meant when he had spouted that off during one of his stories. It was ironic that he would be saying that to her since she wasn't even related to him.*

"Peter is one of my best mates, but with the way you say his name he must have done something that went either against that or the Marauder's Promise, Promissa servanda sunt repromissiones."

"Promises made, are promises kept..." she plucked a few blades of grass as she thought on what to say. “You know that I'm called the Girl-Who-Lived... and that Voldemort is after me..." when he nodded she continued. "When I was fifteen months old Dumbledore came to you and mum," she almost couldn't say it but he would suspect something if she didn't call that cuntrag mum. "He had witnessed a prophecy that said... Well it was either me or Voldemort... That I had the power to stop Voldemort." she was proud that James didn't flinch at her saying Voldemort. But she could see the anger that was boiling beneath the surface in a very similar way to Sirius when he didn’t explode first."You and mum decided to go into hiding and used Sirius as the Secret Keeper. Well, he decided that he was too obvious a choice so he came up with the idea for him to switch with _Wormtail_ and-"

"Stop." His voice was cold and his face showed no emotion. "Are you saying that _Peter_ is the reason? The reason Sirius was sent to Azkaban? Why would Sirius have gone after Peter unless..." James hissed when he trailed off. "Unless Peter gave away the secret... he broke his oath not only as a Marauder but as our Secret Keeper!" she flinched away as his voice rose in anger. When he saw her flinch he froze and his eyes softened. "Oh Corde I'd never..." he didn't finish, just reached out and pulled her close. “I wasn't angry with you. I don't think I could ever be angry with you. It's funny... I've always wanted a son, but even after just being here a few hours I'm happier about having a daughter that I ever thought possible..." Cordelia's eyes started to sting at his words. Oh Merlin this was too much! How was she going to tell him?

He just held her as she sobbed believing her to be crying for a completely different reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Yes I killed off Remus as well. Remus was witness some of James' decent into madness towards the end, so he would not have allowed James to get close to her at all. He would have tried to protect both of them from getting too attached.
> 
> *A sket is a promiscuous woman. I'm not British... and I've never claimed to be so I have to look up the slang words that would be used. The page I looked at said that this is a word used in the South-east area of the British Isle. If i looked at the map correctly that is where Surrey would be.
> 
> *I can already see the flames I am going to get for this so I will just go ahead and explain what he meant. Yes, James supports muggleborns, and he is fascinated by muggle things to and extent... but he is still a pureblood. His mother is Dorea Potter nee Black, and though she married Charlus Potter she would still have taught her son not that certain families are disgraced. Especially if the family does not keep the Old Ways or a lack of money. As for the whole seven children thing, seven if a magical number and a very powerful one at that. You have all of these families who struggle to have _one_ child and here comes this disgraced, poor family who doesn't even keep the Old Ways that has been blessed with seven children. Then you add in Molly Weasley's penchant for thinking she is better than everyone. The having seven children would explain why she acts that way to a certain extent.
> 
> *It's a rough Latin translation for Family first. Before allies. Before money. Before power.
> 
> *Let's say that she knew that Sirius was James' cousin. And to her it's ironic that he quickly spouts this off with her not actually being related to him, even if he doesn't know this.


	2. Jealousy Thy Name is James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is clashing with everyone in the Weasley house. Cordelia, Fred and George are the only ones safe from the chaos left in his wake, with the twins joining in. He has begun to isolate Cordelia from everyone and Hermione is convinced it is because she has attached herself to him because she is still suffering from losing Sirius and Remus. But it is more than that, and Cordelia realizes this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to go ahead and say this before someone asks. James will in no way EVER raise his hand against Cordelia, nor will he ever aim abusive words in her direction. Though you can say what he does in one part of this chapter is abusive with how controlling he appears, that is as far as he will go with her. He truly does care about her, and the reasons for his actions will be shown later.

Despite everyone’s best efforts, James managed to always find a way to be alone with Cordelia. They could do their level best to keep both of them busy or in other rooms of the house, but the second they turned their backs James would have vanished and they would hear her laughing at something he had said or done. And every time they would try and separate them again, James would say or do something vicious. He seemed to especially have it out for Ron. Several humiliating and sadistic pranks had been played on Ron over the last few days. Those who had gone to school with or had even taught James noticed how his relationship with Ron echoed his relationship with Severus Snape. Not that they could prove that it was actually him that did it. He was an expert at making himself appear innocent, especially in front of Cordelia. The poor girl was so desperate for attention that she was willing to believe the lies he was telling her.

“Because she’s still reeling from losing Sirius and Remus, she’s clinging to him and allowing him to practically get away with murder!” Hermione harrumphed. “He could probably tell her that You-Know-Who was dead and she would believe him because she is so desperate for attention! And he knows it! You can see it in his smile as he isolates her from everyone else in the house!” James all but snarled at the annoying girl’s words. That pathetic little girl had no idea what she was talking about! Not that he wasn’t monopolizing Cordelia’s time and attention… he was. He had seen how attention starved she was. She might not act out like Sirius does in an attempt to get attention, but she was still attention starved. And he was giving her that attention. What was so wrong with that?

“I know Mione, but what can we do about it? You’ve seen how easily he can get away with things! Not even mum can catch him and she always knows when the twins are up to something! Hell even the twins have no clue half the time! And they idolize him!” He preened a bit at the unintended complement. He had spent his Hogwarts career avoiding getting caught! It would be a cold day in Hell before anyone caught him in the act of a prank. Especially Molly Weasley.

James watched the boy from his spot as he went up the stairs, and was vaguely aware that his relationship with this boy somewhat mirrored his relationship with Snivellus. He hadn't liked the boy on sight, and he was friends with a girl that James honestly felt should be giving her attention to him. So he had picked up his old habits of tormenting. He raised his wand and grinned. " _Supplanto_ *" He watched in satisfaction as the boy tripped and fell down the stairs. He could hear everyone running to see what happened. He made his way around quickly, casting several different spells as he went, and came from a different direction.

"Wow mate. How do you expect to be a good keeper if you can't keep your balance doing the slightest things?" He grinned wickedly at the accusing eyes. They would never be able to prove it was him and they knew it. It frustrated them to no end. He looked up when he heard Cordelia walking down the stairs. She stopped and took in Ron on the floor and his own smirk. She frowned at him and his heart dropped. Merlin he didn't realize he would have to go through what he went through with Lily again! She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Really Ron... you need to be more careful! I'm gunna need you at your best this year for Quidditch mate!" With that she just walked off leaving everyone gaping at her blatant refusal to see the truth. By then everyone else had made their way to different rooms of the house, so James grinned widely and snickered.

“You must think you’re something.” Ron snarled.

“Oh no, I don’t think it I know it.” James smirked at the red head. “Best part is there is nothing you can do to prove I did anything you accuse me of. And she’s not going to believe you. Why should she? After all you’ve been trying to keep us apart since I got here. Do everyone a favor Weasley and just forget about her. She’s got me now.” And with that he strolled out of the house with his hands in his pockets.

“Did you know that my cousin Dudley used to pick on me because not only was he bigger than me, but because he could?” He froze at her words and winced. “Granted that stopped once my letter came; he was too afraid that I would turn him into a toad or something. It started up again before my second year when they found out that I might have accidently on purpose not told them I couldn’t do magic.” Damn… he should have known that she would feel like that. She sighed and shook her head. “You’re lucky that I’m still pissed at Ron for being a tactless idiot.”

“Why ARE you friends with him?” He had originally thought that she kept them around to keep attention off of herself. But he was seriously starting to doubt that.

“Would you accept insanity as an answer?” The look that he gave her told her that no, that wasn’t a good excuse.

“While insanity does run in the Black family I think enough new blood has been introduced into our family that it wouldn’t be that prominent in you.” She still couldn’t get over the fact that Sirius would have actually been related to her. Sure he had said that all purebloods were related, but to think that there was someone else out there that was though to have shared blood with her and she was forced to live with the Dursley’s.

“Really I’m not sure anymore…he’s so jealous of my fame that he forgets that I only became famous because I survived when… when you didn’t…” she whispered the last part so softly he almost didn’t hear it. He was thankful for the heightened hearing he got from being an animagus.

“And Hermione?”

“She’s been a better friend to me than Ron has… she’s stuck by me instead of letting her jealousy cloud her judgment. Then again she’s too logical to let feelings like that cloud her-” memories of the past year when Hermione told her to keep her head down and not antagonize Umbridge.

“I’m guessing there was an actual time that she didn’t stick by you?”  He held out his hand which she hesitantly took. As they walked through the orchard she thought about if she should tell him about Umbridge. Just as she was about to cherry pick what she was going to tell him he stopped and pulled her hand up to eye level. "I must not tell lies... what the... what the bloody hell is this?!"

She felt a trimmer of terror run through her at the thunderous look on his face. Her mind was running fast through excuses she could make but none of them would work. "Cordelia... who the bloody hell made you use a blood quill?" She shrank away from him at his question, or tried to, but he still had a hold of her hand. "Who did it Corde? Is this what caused the issue with Hermione? Who was it? I'll bloddy fucking kil-"

"No don't! Please it doesn't matter! She's gone anyways and I won't have to see her again!" She had originally intended to cherry pick any and all information he asked about, but she found herself spilling it all to him. Though he still wanted to find Umbridge and make her pay, he took satisfaction in the fact that they had left her with the centaurs. The rest of the information however... well she hoped that Snape didn't show up anytime soon.

* * *

Several days later Cordelia was for once alone. James was off terrorizing Ron with the twins, who were visiting, giving her time to think about everything that was going on. Why was she letting him get away with so much? Despite what the others thought, she knew that James was behind everything that was happening to Ron. She wasn’t blind, nor was she completely ignorant to his blatant monopolizing of her time and attention. Was it the guilt that she felt about what she was going to tell him? No, while that did influence how she acted to an extent, it had nothing to do with letting him get away with being a bully.

When she heard Hermione scream in outrage she looked up to see Fred and George running away from where the scream came from with James not far behind them.  Her stomach did a little flip when he flashed her that crooked grin of his. Her face heated up and he just grinned wider before vanishing.

NO! She didn’t! She couldn’t! Nope! NU UH!

She was shaken out of her shocked thoughts by Hermione stomping towards her. “Ohhhh I can’t believe it! As if those two weren’t bad enough! You would think that they would have matured by now!” The sight of her friend made her choke. The girl’s hair was standing on end and cycling between all of the primary colors. “And I can’t undo it! It’s not funny Cordelia! Look at my hair!”

“Didn’t think you were the type to care about your appearance Hermione.”

“I don’t!”

“Then why are you so upset about it? It’s not like it won’t wear off anyways.” The more the girl tried to undo the prank, the worse it started to look. “Uh Hermione I think that it can only be undone by a certain spell. I think I know which-” James had told her about some of their pranks that could only be undone by certain trigger words. She had even seen he and the twins working on this specific prank.

“Stop making excuses for him Cordelia! That’s all you’ve been doing since he’s arrived! Can’t you see what is going on? He’s been tormenting Ron! He’s tormenting ALL of us except the twins! And the only reason he’s not tormenting them is because they practically worship him! He’s manipulating and isolating you! He’s using you!” Cordelia stared slack jawed at the other girl for a few seconds before she responded.

“You think I don’t know that!?” she hissed at the other girl making her step back. “You think I’m oblivious to what he’s doing!? New flash Hermione! I’M NOT!” Her voice steadily rose until is caught the attention of everyone else. “Despite what you might think Hermione I’m not _STUPID_.”

“I never said-”

“No but you have implied it almost every bloody day. You lord over everyone and treat everyone like they are stupid and act like your better than everyone! Well guess what YOU’RE NOT!”

“I didn’t-”

“Ya know I was going to help you by undoing what they did; after all I did see what they were using for the trigger word. But after everything you just said I think I’ll just leave you like that.” Hermione hung her head in shame realizing that Cordelia was right. “Yes, I can see hints of the boy that I saw in Snape’s pensieve. But I can also see so much more. I can see the man that was willing to sacrifice himself so I could keep living. Is it too much to ask for me to be allowed to get to know that man? And what’s more… who’s to say Snape didn’t purposefully leave his pensieve out for me to find? This is the man that has said from the moment he met me, and more than likely BEFORE, that I am arrogant just like James without bothering to get to know me! What makes you think that the man who _hated_ James for not only picking on him but for ruining his relationship with Lily wouldn’t purposefully leave it out to make me hate James? Yes I was upset at what I saw! I have heard nothing but how much of a good man James was, and then I see him bullying Snape.” James flinched and looked down at the ground hearing the disappointment in her voice. “But unlike Snape, James grew up and let go.” She didn’t say that she thought James more than likely stopped because he got Lily’s attention. That would defeat what she was trying to say. “To get his revenge on James… Snape could have taken me in and raised me. He could have treated me like I was his in an attempt to make James roll in his grave. No matter what Snape tells me or shows me he cannot make me hate the man that gave up his life for mine.” In her anger she had forgotten to call James dad and people noticed. But she didn’t stop to care as she turned to go farther into the orchard. She caught sight of Snape who like always was glaring at her. “Because it’s _pathetic_ that he can’t let go of his hatred of a man who has been dead for sixteen years.” And with that she took off into the orchard not paying attention to the glare that James was giving both Snape and Hermione.

She wanted to be alone with her thoughts because she still hadn’t come to terms with what she had just realized. She knew she was safe so when she heard a few twigs snapping under someone’s feet she just rolled her eyes. “Go away. I’m not apologizing.” Her only answer was a snort that ruffled her hair. She turned around and started at a stag that she had only seen when she cast her Patronus.

“Hello Prongs.” She smiled slightly as he pranced around her. “Hmm I think you were named wrong, maybe you should be called Prancer…” She giggled as he glared at her. “I’m kidding!” He flopped down and looked pointedly at the spot in front of him. “You’re going to completely ignore what I said aren’t you?” Once again her only answer was a snort. “Fine! Arsehole.” She sat down slightly in front of him only to be knocked back into his side. “HEY!” Her protests were ignored as he kept watch, his message loud and clear. ‘Take all the time you need, but I’m not leaving.’

Hermione was right… she _was_ making excuses for James. But she just… she couldn’t stop it. Every time she went to say something to him she was reminded of what was written in his letters. She wanted him to have some happiness before everything around him fell apart. Was it so wrong that she wanted to keep him happy? No it wasn’t.

What was wrong was keeping him happy at the expense of others. And she wasn’t… alright she was. She allowed him to isolate her from everyone in the house.  He said and did harmful things to everyone and she just turned her head. It was rare for her to be alone these days because he was always with her, and when he wasn’t and someone else tried to be near her, he would show up and run them off. Merlin and Morgana she had gone from an abusive childhood to an unhealthy controlling relationship with a man who thought he was her father. Was he like this with Lily? Was that what had made her run to Snape?

She hadn’t realized she was crying until strong arms wrapped around her. “Hey don’t cry. She’s just too stupid to understand. Don’t let her or Snivellus get to you. Nothing they say matters Corde. None of them matter. All that matters is you and me okay?” She had started sobbing halfway through what he was saying and couldn’t say anything. “Corde? Do you understand me?” All she could do was nod against his shoulder where her head now rested. “I want to hear you say it Corde.” She couldn’t say anything because she was sobbing so hard. “Say it Corde.”

“N-none o-of th-them matter.” He hummed as he ran his hands through her hair.

“And what matters?”

“W-we…” she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t make herself say it because if she did she would have betrayed everything that she stood for. She would have betrayed her friends who have only ever wanted what was best for her.

“Corde…”

“O-only we d-do….” She sobbed.

“Good girl Corde.” He kissed the top of her head and started rocking her back and forth. “Everything will be alright Corde I promise.”

* * *

 

It was good and dark when Cordelia opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep.

_'She’s just too stupid to understand. Don’t let her or Snivellus get to you. Nothing they say matters Corde. None of them matter. All that matters is you and me okay?'_

_'Do you understand me?'_

_'I want to hear you say it Corde.'_

_'Say it Corde.'_

_'N-none o-of th-them matter.'_

_'And what matters?'_

_'O-only we d-do…'_

_'Good girl Corde. Everything will be alright Corde I promise.'_

Oh Merlin what had she done? How could she had said that? She had always promised herself that if she ever found herself in an abusive situation again she would get out of it as quickly as possible. But was it really abusive? He hadn't hit her, or yelled obscenities at her and if she was honest with herself she didn't think he ever would.  _You don't know that. You barely even know him._

He didn't seem like the type to every truly hurt someone.  _That's a lie and you know it. Look at what he did to Snape. And what about what he made you say not too long ago? Abuse isn't just physical._

He didn't force her to say those things! And he wasn't abusing her! Yes he was controlling, yes he was isolating her from everyone, and yes he had practically encouraged her to say those things… but he wasn’t forcing her to do anything! She had said what she did on her own. He didn’t hold a knife or his wand to her throat and make her say it.

_‘All that matters is you and me.’_

_‘No matter what you will always be **MY** Corde. And Severus Snape and Lily Evan can go to hell.’_

He cares more than they do. The only reason half of them were here was because she was their tool to fight Voldemort. He doesn’t care about the-girl-who-lived rubbish. He cared about Cordelia. His Corde. He died for her even though she wasn’t his daughter! He delved into blood magic to protect her. What had they done besides tell her she was too young?

“Corde…” She jumped and turned to look at him. He was lying down and looking at her with the most peculiar look on his face. How long has he been awake? Had he been watching her argue with herself? “C’mere Corde…” When she hesitated he pulled her down next to him. She was so glad that he couldn’t see her face right now! She wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear her heart beating furiously against her chest. And if he couldn’t hear it then he could most definitely feel it. She laid there stiff for several seconds before relaxing and placing her ear over his heart. Was it her imagination or did his heart just skip a beat? She was almost lulled back to sleep by its steady rhythm when yells of her name reach them. “Damnit! Why can’t they just bugger off?” James growled. “You’re safe with me!” She might be physically safe with him, but what about emotionally? “Maybe if we stay quiet enough they won’t find us… shhh.” Unfortunately they kept getting closer.

“Cordelia!”

So what did James do? He jumped up and dragged her along with him as he ran through the trees. “James! Where are we going?” He didn’t answer her and just kept going until they reached a specific tree; the largest in the orchard. He scrambled up the tree and held his hand out for her to take. “Come on! Take my hand Corde!”

_‘All that matters is you and me.’_

She quickly took his hand and he pulled her up just as Tonks came running by. They climbed up several more branches until they found on they could both sit on. James sat with his back to the tree and pulled her onto his lap. It was true that James was possessive and controlling when it came to her, but Cordelia actually found herself not caring. Because for the first time since Sirius and Remus had died, she was happy. For the first time, she actually believed that everything was going to be alright.


End file.
